Friday after work we headed down to the coast.  We listened to a Harry Potter audiobook.  Other than that, nothing eventful.

Last night I finished reading Heather of Dooce's book "It Sucked and then I Cried".  

Seriously, I don't have the time for depression!  Instead of spending the afternoon planning, I watched videos.  What a frigging waste of time!  At least I cleared a few tapes I suppose..

Had a decent chunk of beef for dinner tonight, in case I was low on iron or something.

And we folded and stapled all the order of services tonight.  Was actually really pleasant the four of us around a table chatting while doing it.  Sure beat me doing it all by myself.

...when you spend $379.84 on Star Trek, and then they go and rerelease it, and you can get the entire set as a limited edition boxed set for $279.83. Ezydvd also has the series individually. Original packaging: $199.83/season. New packaging: $42.83.

I still think Paramount were bordering on criminal charging so much for Star Trek. Maybe they've come to their senses and might actually sell some now.

oh yeah. depression sux.

Breakfast was some cereal. Don't actually know what it was. Whatever looked interesting and was on special when I bought it.

Morning tea was yummy chocolate cake George made for last night but ended up at work as leftovers.

Lunch was stir-fry satay chicken from the Thai place near work, thoroughly delicious, Luc's shout.

Afternoon tea finished off the cake. Well, I had help of course. Any food left in our office gets devoured. Although I did give have to convince a few people the eat the last pieces so it wouldn't go stale overnight.

Dinner was scotch fillet steak and mustard, with mushrooms fried in garlic and peas and corn, with my last Cadbury Creme Egg from Easter for dessert.

Overall not a bad day. Except for generalised feelings of depression in the morning from a world that's just gone crazy, and missing my boy ....

Urgh.

Work for a few hours this morning. Beaten soundly by a 7 year old in Star Wars Trivial Pursuit this afternoon. 10 hours sleep in the past two nights. Feelings of left-out-edness and depression and just plain zombiness.

Thought I'd try and cheer myself up by putting on Harry Potter. Only to find it won't play properly - get a black bar flickering now and then near the top of the picture. *sigh*

I did however make a completely evil potato bake. Tempted to go back for seconds.. enough cream and cheese and I'll die young of a heart attack...

So when you feel like you have no friends, you don't turn up for church or dinner and they don't bother to call up and find out why, and they really don't care anyway, and the only way to put off the depression is to lookup methods of suicide, about all you can do is get drunk.

Ironically the person that did call was Marylon, but unfortunately there wasn't much she could say that could change my mind, not knowing the situation.

So anyway. Might stick on a dvd after My Restaurant Rules.

100 things about Kazza the Blank One. Bren has had one of these for ages, and I've been thinking I should probably put one together. Just recently Dave and Dennis put theirs up, so I thought I would too. Some of my ideas were stolen shamelessly from them :)

Stolen from Richard and Dave..

1. Who do you admire the most and why?
Not sure about the most, but recentest.. Ian Thorpe, and the way he handled his disqualification from the 400m. If ever there was a true Australian hero, he would be it I reckon.

2. What would you have as your last meal if you were on death row?
Roast pork with apple sauce, gravy and crackling, the way my mother makes it

3. What is your earliest memory?
Probably the old family car, and getting a new one when I was about four.

4. If you had 3 wishes, what would your 3rd wish be?
Probably that I'd could be rich enough not to have to work anymore, and travel wherever I wanted to.

5. If you had to be blind or deaf, which would you choose?
Deaf. The only thing I'd miss being deaf would be music. If I was blind I couldn't work, couldn't exist.

6. Have you ever been dared to do something where the risk exceeded the reward (ie. jump off a building for a penny)?
Don't think so..

7. If you were forced to live the rest of your existence in a fictional world from a movie, book and TV show which ones would you select?
After pondering this over reading and watching tv for an hour, I'm no closer to an answer for this. How about movie - probably something futuristic .. or magical .. I'll get back to you; book - perhaps the world of Harry Potter, with magic; tv - the utopia of the Star Trek world would be nice.

8. If you had a superpower, which superpower would it be and why?
Easy - the ability to fly - always been my greatest wish ever

9. What is your favourite vegetable?
Potato

10. In how many different languages do you know the meaning of at least one word?
Probably yes or no, dunno how many tho - maybe english, french, german, italian, russian? probably others too. Someone I know once said you should learn five words when going to another country - yes, no, please, thankyou and toilet. Everything else you can fumble your way through with sign language :)

11. What did you want to be when you were a child?
For a while I wanted to be an artist because I was fairly good at drawing. Then I discovered flight and thought that the only jobs you could get as a woman was a flight attendant. Then realised there was such a thing as female pilots, and wanted to join the air force because they paid you to learn to fly, but I was too short and my eyesight wasn't good enough. And that was the end of that really.

12. What one event (if any) would you change in your personal past if you had the power to do it once?
Tough one. Been through lots of tough times, but I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't been through them in the right order. There's not really anything I can think of that I desperately wish hadn't happened. Except in the cases of depression when I wish I hadn't been born.

13. What's the one question you want to be asked of you in an interview?
I liked Dave's response of "what will you do with the $25 million you just won on lotto?" hehe

14. Have you ever cheated death?
Don't think so

15. What was the most important decision you've ever had to make?
Dunno.. buying this flat I suppose, that certainly involved the most money

16. Which sports team do you support the most, and why?
Probably the Australian Olympics team .. I don't follow sports much

17. Mobile phones (cellphones) - evil or good?
Oh evil ;) But I don't think I could live without one. I feel naked without it - disconnected!

18. What is your favourite song at the moment?
Something wicked this way comes

Had a Christmas party today with a bunch of people that I haven't been together with in probably at least 3 years. It was this core of people that mostly used to live locally and go to the same church. Since then it's diverged somewhat, and 10 (!) offspring have been added. The reason I haven't seen several of them much in the past few years was because of something that happened when I was going through some pretty deep depression a few years ago, and two of them rejected me at the time and made me feel even lower, if that were possible. As I've said in previous entries, I have trouble with forgiveness. But I decided I would at least try, and so went along to this Christmas party, which is the first time I've been in the same place with the two of them since that time. So it was all good, I was civil, and even friendly, and basically relaxed (and a beer or two certainly didn't hurt either). Then towards the end of the party one of the girls says to me "I'd like to compliment you - you are happy and friendly blah blah blah". To which I said, well what are you comparing it to, we haven't seen each other more than twice in three years. And she's going well yes you're more happy. Ok so everything I've been trying to forget all comes back to me, and it's like, well if I wasn't happy in your presence before, it was *because* of you and the hurt you caused me. But of course I couldn't say any of that cause I'm too chicken. So I ended up grumpy and pensive after all. *sigh* I should definately have said something.

The night finished off with some of the boys playing xbox, which I was invited to play, but I had absolutely no idea about the game so gave up and left; and then to top off the night the flipping eway toll tag thingie didn't bleep cause the sticky tape died in the heat today and it fell off and I just had the thing on the dashboard. So now I have to chase that up on Monday. Just what I really didn't need.