21 Things I want in a Lover

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These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
      - Alanis Morissette

Or so the song goes. I thought about this entry on the way back from Queensland (when you're in the car for hours on end with nothing better to do). I thought of the first few things but hadn't thought too much about it since then.

Now as I procrastinate over doing USA pictures, I thought I'd put this together. No particular order (although the earlier ones are probably more important).

  1. Are you Christian?
    This is a fairly important thing for me. Or at least it used to be. Single Christian boys my age are few and far between. So my standards on this one are slipping a bit.
  2. Do you want to travel?
    I desperately want to travel more. I want to see all of Europe, the east coast of USA and Canada, and more of Australia. I want someone to travel to those places with. And when I travel I want to *see* things. I don't want to spend $2000 to go to another country and just sit on a beach or spend the day sleeping in a hotel room.
  3. Do you want to have children?
    This is another fairly biggie for me. You see I don't think I could cope with having children. I'm too selfish for one, but I just don't think I could do it. I have no maternal instincts whatsoever. I couldn't deal with marrying someone who wanted a bunch of kids.
  4. Are you a morning person?
    This is mainly linked to the travel question. While travelling I want to get up when it gets light (or at least around 7am) and go and do stuff all day, not waste it being indoors waiting for my partner to wake up.
  5. Do you want to be friends first?
    I don't get attracted to boys until I've known them for a while and been friends first. I don't do dating. If someone shows an interest in me that's more than just friends without me knowing them first, I get extremelly defensive. This is also why I don't go to meet guys in bars.
  6. Do you have good personal hygiene?
    There's not a lot worse than making out with someone that has dirty teeth or tastes like stale coffee. Similarly dirty hair/fingernails and general bodily smells are a huge turnoff for me.
  7. Are you outgoing and chatty?
    I'm a very quiet person. I find it difficult to keep up conversations with people. Ideally I'd like someone that is happy to chat away without me having to say much.
  8. Are you good with money?
    I'm a miser at heart. Not as bad as my parents, but I hate seeing money wasted. If we're going to travel, I'd like a partner who knows how to save.
  9. Are you domesticated?
    Not just the ability to cook/clean, but the willingness to do it. Someone handy with powertools would be cool too.
  10. Are you healthy?
    I want whoever I marry to live at least as long as me. And while I'm planning on dying young (I reckon about 60-65) I don't want my partner to go before me of a heart attack or something. Smoking is a big issue for me also (I hate it).
  11. Do you eat meat?
    I love a good roast dinner. Continuing to do them for one person would be no fun!
  12. Do you like to play games/have fun?
    My fantasy is to play games with friends. I say fantasy, because almost without exception, when my "friends" are playing games, they do so without inviting me.
  13. Do you like to dance?
    Admittedly this is easier after a little alcohol and in the dark, but it's something I enjoy doing (and it's a good workout too).
  14. Are you self-confident?
    Self-confidence I find a highly sexy personally trait. Not to the point of being to egotistical though.
  15. Do you believe marriage is forever?
    I've actually replaced another question (Do you like to wear black?) with this one. I'd have put it higher up in the list, but that would have mucked up the numbering. I believe marriage is for life. I don't believe in divorce except obviously in extreme circumstances. I'd expect my husband to feel the same way.
  16. Are you a geek?
    I spend a heck of a lot of time at my computer. While that would be less if I actually had someone to spend that time with, I'd like someone that I could talk about my day to (or rant about it more likely!)
  17. Are you careful with your possessions?
    As with money, I don't like seeing things being broken or wasted or proper care not taken and things are stolen or whatever.
  18. Do you care about the environment?
    I can't stand seeing food/water/electricity/petrol wasted.
  19. Do you have wide taste in movies?
    I love going to the movies to see all sorts of things. I'd like someone to go with.
  20. Are you funny?
    I like someone that makes me laugh.
  21. Are you patient?
    I'm what people deem "high maintenance". You'd need to be very patient to put up with me (as the 20 other things previous to this indicate).

This would probably explain why I am still single.


Fiona said:

If I were male and single I could offer you 2 5 6 8 11 13 17 18 20 21 (but I'm also high maintenance)


June 12, 2005 5:58 PM


Dave2 said:

I used to have a list of well over 21 things. As life goes on, the list gets shorter and shorter. Life is funny that way. :-)

June 12, 2005 11:33 PM


kazza said:

Well I only picked 21 cause that's what was in the song ;)

June 12, 2005 11:57 PM


Yvonne said:

WOW If I was male and single I would fail. :( Oh well. I don't think men on the whole live as long as women tho....

I like the thinking here...

June 13, 2005 10:59 AM


kazza said:

How can you fail? That's just silly :)
Anyway, you're marrying my brother, not me :):)

June 13, 2005 11:10 AM


Marc Napoli said:

the best advice i can give is this...

never compromise on the big things, but forget the little things. :)

June 17, 2005 1:55 PM


kazza said:

Good advice, I like it! :)

June 17, 2005 10:36 PM


delmer said:

Ah. You need to listen to more John Cougar and less Alanis.

Then you'd just need a lover that won't drive you crazy.

June 26, 2005 2:30 PM


Woosang said:

I would be interested if now days you would change any criteria.

July 14, 2005 3:10 PM


kazza said:

I don't think so. Stu meets just about all of them, including all my more important ones.

July 14, 2005 6:28 PM


Woosang said:

WOW. You are in trouble :D

July 14, 2005 7:06 PM


kazza said:

er.. why am I in trouble?

July 14, 2005 7:11 PM


Bo Peep's Sheep said:

Fear not. My brother the Christian was still single at 34. Then suddenly, he met a beautiful Christian girl who was absolutley made for him, married her and impregnated her with their baby.
You don't have to do that last one, though.

August 24, 2005 2:18 PM


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Kazza's "Boring Life Of a Geek" aka BLOG

IT geek, originally from Sydney, moved to Canberra in 2007. Married to "the sweetie", aka Stu. Prolific photographer, Lego junkie and tropical fish keeper.

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