So ended up sending a few emails back and forth to friend #3, and agreed to see them again. Which is good, because I would have missed friend #2 terribly. Was missing him this morning and wondering on the sanity of my decisions. So we'll see how it goes. I don't hold out much expectation of anything being any better. But then, "blessed are they that expect nothing, for they will not be disappointed".
Ken
Romans 8:28 springs to mind, in regards to your previous posts.
kazza
I just wish he'd *tell* me what my purpose of being here is..
are you are regular reader?
Ken
Not really, you had me hooked with the "Only Site" for AR tanks though.
I hear you; in same boat sometimes, but one word rings in response to that passage "Trust".
kazza
yah, well trust is the issue isn't it? Do I trust getting close enough to people for them to hurt me?
Mushroom
Good luck with everything Kazza. I hope everything turns out for the best.
kazza
thanks guys :)
Ken
Yes, well trust is the big "what if" in relationships isn't it (arrg don't get me started). I was thinking more along the lines of trusting God though, as he is the only one you can rely on to keep his promises 100% of the time.
This will probably sound cliche and cheesy But (there is always a but), maybe you are doing the purpose he has for you already.
kazza
Yah true.
But I can't see how any part of my life is being useful to him at the moment.
Kristina
But you should have expectations - expect to be treated right by friends, if they really are your friends. They should respect you, care about you, be honest and include you in activities. Having to limit your feelings to 'no expectations' isn't fair to you. Like your feelings don't matter.
kazza
Yeah well that's the theory. But my personality is such that noone will ever love me. And even if they do, my paranoid personality disorder will always make me think that they don't. I've given up all hope.